I’m a little burned out on self-help books, but I always think the next one will help me a little more. On the whole, I’ve learned some important things about myself, as well as various coping strategies. I keep reading them even though I’m tired of them because I have a little FOMO when it comes to missing that one book that will fully explain me to myself.
Brené Brown was recommended to me by my therapist, and The Gifts of Imperfection (2010) seemed like something of a classic, so I went with that one. I was expecting Brown to dive right into shame and perfectionism, but instead The Gifts of Imperfection is centered around “wholehearted living,” which is defined as a process of becoming, rooted in self-worth and embracing one’s authentic self. I think I expected something a little different from this book, and it probably didn’t help that I was listening to it instead of reading it. I was sometimes confused about what Brown’s focus was. It took me awhile to figure out that this was more general advice for a better life.
But looking back on it, and with the help of the internet, this book is pretty straightforward. It has three tools and ten guideposts to help you achieve a “wholehearted life.” It’s interesting how many of these self help books fall back to the same things. Brown talks a fair bit about self compassion, something I’ve already read an entire book on. It seems that there is general agreement in what makes a happy and fulfilling life.
Cliff’s Notes:
-Let go of perfectionism for wholehearted living.
Three tools:
1) Courage 2) Compassion 3) Connection
Ten Guideposts for Wholehearted Living:
1) Authenticity – letting go of what people think
2) Self-Compassion – nurturing kindness toward oneself
3) Resilient Spirit – cultivating a resilient spirit
4) Gratitude and Joy – practicing gratitude
5) Intuition and Trusting Faith – believing in oneself
6) Creativity – engaging in creativity
7) Play and rest – allowing time for play and rest
8) Calm and stillness – managing anxiety
9) Meaningful work – engaging in work that matters
10) Laughter, song, and dance – embracing joy
The one advice that stuck with me the most was Brown’s recommendation to follow the vowels every day: A – abstain from something bad for you (Instagram, alcohol, whatever it is for you); E – exercise; I – do something for yourself; O – do something for others; U – see if you are holding on to unexpressed emotions; and Y, yeah, be grateful or excited about something good that happened. Perhaps I forgot the last two vowels, but it’s a pithy little way to get yourself back on track.
I like how Brown uses personal stories to make some points, and I found this book readable and potentially helpful. Perhaps if I’d read this book earlier in my self-help book education, it would have had more of an impact on me.
You can find all my reviews on my blog.
