CBR Bingo: Queer Lives – Jonathan Van Ness identifies as non-binary (using all pronouns interchangeably, I’m choosing to use he/him since that is predominantly what is used on the Netflix show Queer Eye) and is happily married to his husband.
Over the Top: A Raw Journey to Self-Love was the pick of my book club. Most people know him from the Netflix revival of Queer Eye. Or perhaps you’ve seen the ads for his haircare line on Facebook (he does have gorgeous hair). At the time I had never heard of him. While hardly ever reading non-fiction, I do enjoy autobiographies and was curious to find out Jonathan’s story.
Born in rural Quincy, Illinois, Jonathan always knew that he was gay and over the years came to realize that non-binary was the gender identifier he most relates too. From the way he walked and used his hands when talking, to wearing nail polish and his mother’s scarves, he stood out as flamboyant and not like his heteronormative peers. As a result Jonathan was bullied throughout his childhood, often turning to humor to cope. His extreme love of figure skating and gymnastics kept Jonathan apart from his peers who were into ‘traditional’ sports. However, that love of gymnastics led to Jonathan being the first male cheerleader at his high school. And while that brought it’s own challenges from the student body, he did find a measure of belonging with the other cheerleaders.
Fortunately he was loved and accepted in his home. However, being sexually abused at a young age, and his parents’ not wanting to press charges due to the negative attention it would draw, created a hole in his being that took a long time to recover from. Jonathan would use the internet to meet with male strangers for hook-ups and that became an addiction. After an introduction to cocaine in college, he began prostituting himself for money. Jonathan was terrified of getting HIV but continued to engage in detrimental risky behavior that did result in getting HIV. Through several stints in rehab, he pulled himself together and was able to begin living a more healthy life.
While being a male hairdresser is a trope, Jonathan does love doing hair and attended an Aveda Institute for training. After working in salons in Arizona for several years he made the leap and moved to LA and eventually got an agent. While that agent didn’t let Jonathan know about the Queer Eye reboot someone else fortunately did. Instead of being “Queer Eye for the straight guy” the Netflix show was promoted to people auditioning as “Turning red states pink one make-over at a time” and that spoke to him. To his shock and surprise, Jonathan was cast to be the grooming expert and it changed the course of his life. Very little of this book talks about Queer Eye so if you are interested primarily in that, this isn’t the best book to read.
Prior to reading Over the Top I had never watched an episode of either the original or reboot of Queer Eye. After finishing Jonathan’s autobiography I felt compelled to check it out and was immediately sucked into the show. The stories are so heart warming with the positive impact the Fab 5 have on those featured in the show. It’s no longer just for straight men. Over the 7 seasons they have featured men, women, LGBTQ folk, and two people who are wheelchair bound. Many episodes leave me in tears, particularly the ones with trans folks. Binging Queer Eye completely derailed my summer reading as spare time was spent watching instead of reading!
If you like Queer Eye, I highly recommend this book to learn more about Jonathan. If you like stories about individuals overcoming adversity, I recommend this. If you like to read accounts of people learning to love themselves and truly embrace who they are, I recommend this.
