I think my earliest Cannonball in Kfishgirl history (before today) was October of last year. Prior to that I was usually still doing reviews on like December 31st and trying to get them all in. I would like to credit my reading accomplishments this year to hand surgery! I was off work for three weeks, and I think I read 11 books in those three weeks. They gave me a nice push to finish early. I guess since we’re not even at June yet I’ll go for a double Cannonball! Who knows, it might happen. Every year I look at people’s totals and say “how the heck did they read that many books?” But now I know at least some of the secret. ALWAYS BE READING! Driving somewhere? Audiobook! Going for a walk? Audiobook! Sitting in a waiting room for your allergy shot? Physical book! Helping to fall asleep at night? Kindle! I just try to shove all of my free time full of books. It’s been working for me this year. AND! Short books are still books! I read a bunch of short books that Amazon put out for free, and some of them were really great. All of my alien porn books were under 7 hours or so. I guess I was a bit of a snob when it came to books. Not that I read only classics or anything, but I felt like a book had to be hefty to count. Silly me!
Anyway, to this annoying and disappointing book! So I read the previous three books in this series. I think I (shocker) started at book three, as I am known to do for whatever reason. They had their airs of cheesiness and a bit of a silly romance, but this one is over the top. You’d think a book about the fourth horseman of the apocalypse who is part of a group that murdered dozens of innocent people would be grittier and more interesting. You’d be wrong.
If you want a cheesy group of characters with a cringey romance, peppered with gratuitous Florida history, this book is for you! I highlighted this line because it just stuck out as the essence of this book to me. Amy and Hunter (the two main characters from the series) are talking about one of their parents. Amy says to Hunter, “I know they’re great people,” she assured him, smiling. “They made you!” “Aw, man! That was nice. What a great way to suck up,” he teased. Gag me with a spoon! Does anyone talk like this? They’re two professional adults working on a set of grisly murders. I must just have a low tolerance for cheese (not true, I love cheese, and I love dad jokes and puns, but not in my murder book, unless it’s done well!).
OMG also! The author says “strewed”. Like “the bodies were strewed around.” What in the actual hell? This is not the correct word. It took me so out of the moment that I couldn’t even enjoy the descriptions of the bodies STREWN around!
I really just finished the book because I wanted to know who the leader of the Apocalypse was (the Archangel). It was pretty underwhelming though. There were no tie-backs to the previous books, so it’s not like there was any way to figure it out before this book. And the cheese continued!
More direct quotes:
“The only way you can feel powerful is by drugging poor deluded girls who are looking for something good in life. To get you! Oh, vomit!”