Pádraigín: Katie always starts these with ‘gentle reader’. I don’t know you nor do I care to speculate on your gentleness, so…
HEY, YOU: This week we read You Slay Me by Katie MacAlister. Amazon’s freaky-deaky algorithm gremlins made it pop up on my So Like, Try This and See What Happens list and I am nothing if not adventurous.
(I’m not)
Cáitín: I ain’t gonna lie: those Irish names give me fits. None of them are pronounced anything like they’re spelled.
Pádraigín: Weird, right?
Cáitín: and they say English is hard….
Pádraigín: What’s going to be hard is reviewing this one without spoiling any of the good bits. So hard.
“Are you by any chance threatening me?”
I lifted my chin even higher. “Only if you intend on making things hard.”
His gaze raked me as he took in the pretty poppy dress. “Things are already hard, sweetheart.”
My knees almost melted at the double entendre, but I stiffened them and reminded my libido that he was a thief …. “I doubt you’re going to die from hauling a little wood,” I said.
Pádraigín: You know when you’re reading and the protagonist is about to do something against her (and your) better judgement and you just curl your toes and think, “OH NO GIRL DON’T GO IN THE… dammit!” or “Yes! RUN! Get out before OH SEE? NOW LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE!” ?
This book is full of those. You’d think it would get tiresome or annoying but Aisling, our heroine, acts out of compulsion and desperation, not stupidity. Plus she keeps a pretty amusing internal – and sometimes not so internal – monologue going so you know she’s usually as stunned by her behavior as the reader.
Cáitín: The further I get in this book, the more convinced I am that I read it years ago, but in print. And, I’m really enjoying it even as a re-read, if that says anything about the quality of the writing.
Pádraigín: I just checked and it was originally published in 2004, so very likely. More importantly, how are we going to summarize this one without blowing it?
“There is a woman and… stuff happens to her… and…Paris is in France… it’s funny… and there are demons and a taxi driver and… green…”
Cáitín: SERIOUSLY. It’ll be a freaking miracle if we don’t get overly spoiler-y with this one.
Pádraigín: OK. [Deep breaths] Recently divorced Aisling finally landed a job after months of unemployment. Her uncle, an antiques dealer, has hired her as a courier. It’s kind of a probationary situation and she must now prove herself by flying to Paris and delivering a rare and priceless aquamanile to its new owner, Mme. Deverauxeux, or however the hell you spell that. Freaking French and their “eu’s” and “eaux’s”.
Upon arriving at Mme. Deaurexveus’, Aisling realizes that contrary to the confidence-boosting mantra she has been chanting to herself, she is neither self-assured, confident nor professional enough to deal with the very dead body of said client nor with the drop-dead gorgeous body of Interpol agent Drake Vireo.
Cáitín: And, of course, there’s more to Drake than meets the eye. Lots more. (Get your mind out of the gutter! That’s not what I meant.)
Drake is a wyvern, an extremely powerful one, and Aisling had something he wants, so he takes it. And here’s where it gets creepy: unbeknownst to Aisling, she’s actually a Guardian, one who can summon and control demons. Honestly, I don’t want to know if Katie MacAlister is a great world builder or a fantastic researcher, but the demonic stuff is good enough to sincerely creep me out. I kinda hate that about it, too. It’s not a comfortable read, but it is interesting and entertaining. I’m just glad it is of much, much better quality than this gem from the 80s…
Of course, it helps me keep from completely freaking out that the first demon she summons comes in the form of a Newfoundland dog. Named Jim. Who speaks like a cross between Archie Bunker and…. well, really like Archie Bunker, but with less racism. I think I’m starting to wander into too much exposition territory…
Pádraigín: You can’t be creeped out by something unless you think it’s true. Talking dogs aren’t a thing that is real. Problem solved.
The story is half rompy fun and half poltergeist-ish. The fun part is sometimes snort-chuckle inducing; the other, well… the bad guys are really bad and there is no attempt to slapstick evil. I kind of appreciated that myself.
Cáitín: My sweet Ash could say I love you. I wish I had a video of it. It would help take my mind off the scary parts of this book, but since I don’t, here’s a picture of him using my dad as a pillow:
Pádraigín: Aaaand on that note… we liked it but we can’t tell you why and Katie thinks her dog could speak. Ringing endorsement right there.
