Katie: Okay, lemme just start out by saying that I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how good the Hellsinger series has been so far. They have terrible titles, but that isn’t the fault of the books. Rhys Ford, please, for the love of a good book, ask if you need help with titles. You can leave a comment below or find me on Twitter.
Patty: Yeah, the first one was OK: Fish and Ghosts, a play on fish and guests and the whole three day thing. I respect a good pun but put off reading the first book for months because I didn’t get it and thought the title was random as hell. I’m judgy like that. This second one makes even less sense. Weird ‘cause RFord is actually a pretty clever writer… maybe she should have asked Wolf for help.
Speaking of which, Wolf’s nickname for Tristan is Thursday (as in, Thursday Addams because Wednesday was taken). Tristan is not as amused by this as I am.
This couple cracks me up. They hunt ghosts, bicker, reconcile and lob snark bombs at each other, all while negotiating typical relationship growing pains and managing a supporting cast of characters right out of a carnival sideshow. There is a genuine sweetness to them and at times all-out absurdity. For example, within the first few pages our heroes consume some baklava made by Wolf’s hippie-medium mother which, unbeknownst to them, was prepared using peyote-laced honey. Days later, they get into an argument and Tristan accuses Wolf of peeing on his foot while they were both hallucinating. Wolf defends himself by stating, “To be fair, it did have flaming ants on it. I was worried you’d get hurt.”
That right there was when I decided I loved this story. FYI: I would totally pee on your foot, Katie; peyote notwithstanding.
Katie: Thank goodness that a) I’m already imaginary and b) you lack the equipment to easily pee on my foot. I knew I loved this one when this turned out to be the “ghost” haunting a basement in Florida. Seriously? No one has a basement in Florida…
Um… where can I find peyote-laced honey?
Patty: I know a guy.
Patty: So in this installment of the series our daring duo is called away to check out some freaky-freakiness occurring at Wolf’s cousin’s house.
Katie: Hawks Knee, Tristan’s home, is still suffering bad juju from the effects of the events in the first book, so Wolf decides to bring him along on a working vacation. They leave behind smelly dogs in favor of farting cows. I’m not convinced they made the right decision.
Patty: Wolf’s cousin lives on a farm and repairs old toys for a living because being a taxidermist or having a collection of clown marionettes wouldn’t have been creepy enough, I guess. We’re talking a house full of parts and pieces of antique dolls and teddy bears. Oh, and it’s now haunted. Because of course it is.
Katie: Oh. Em. Gee. Patty. PATTY. The bit with the doll heads on Tristan’s bed… I may never sleep again. Um, is it a spoiler if it happens in the first fifty pages? Cuz, seriously. What. The. F*ck. Anything that freaky deaky MUST be mentioned. It’s almost as terrifying as Wolf’s great aunt wandering around in a muumuu with a shotgun in her hands, lime green glitter polish on her toenails, and a hair color she describes as the result of a toucan fucking with her head. Her words, not mine. *I think I want to be her when I grow up.* [Patty doesn’t have to wait. She already terrifies her family with awesome. It runs in her family from mother to daughter. It’s the only possible explanation for the Hazel.]
Patty: Except they won’t let me hold the shotgun anymore. So uptight. But yes, there are SO many WTF moments of spook in this book. Broken, possessed toys; broken, spectral children; farm animals, in-laws… [shivers]. That whole doll baby head in the bed deal would have had me checking into Motel 6 quicker than you can say “Mama”.
Katie: I’d have beat you there, I promise. Although, too be fair, the smell of all that farm probably would’ve been enough to send me running.
Patty: Ugh. Nature.
Katie: Talk about terrifying. When the zombie apocalypse comes, I’m in deep shit.
To sum up: we’ve got an adorable couple with a relationship that feels authentic in spite of the fact that they’re surrounded by the ridiculous, the scary, and the ridiculously scary. It’s fun, it’s amusing, and it reads like the best episodes of Supernatural. I LOVE IT! Patty? Anything you want to add?
Patty: Just this. For you. xoxo
Katie: YOU ARE SO MEAN. You know I’m terrified of MLP.
BYE. *flounces off*