Before I started reading my advance reader copy of Toe to Toe, a passionate negative review caught my eye. There have been a few times when I’ve been the reviewer deeply offended by something in a book, so I did read with it in mind. In the end, I felt like the reviewer’s complaint is a legitimate criticism, but that the story Falon Ballard is telling, in all its messiness, is worth telling. Most of my knowledge of ballet comes from pop culture with the heavy lifting done by Chloe Angyal’s excellent Pas de Don’t and Pointe of Pride (Barre Fight is on my TBR). I don’t know ballet, but I do know toxic systems, and Toe to Toe is about toxic systems.
Allegra is a ballerina with a prestigious dance company in NYC. The director announces a new ballet called The Courtesan, and Allegra wants the lead. She has already rebuffed the director’s implied advances so she knows there is a strike against her. It becomes two strikes when the director tells her he wants to cast a dancer with sex appeal, which she lacks. Allegra really wants the role, it feels like her best chance to be made a principle in the company. She makes a deal with Cord, the owner of an all male review club and former ballet dancer, to learn how to convey sexual confidence on stage in exchange for helping to choreograph a new dance for his team. Naturally, they fall in love.
The push pull between them is so good. Both of them are constantly explaining why they can’t get into a relationship with the other while also finding excuses to spend time together. (If you’ve watched Heated Rivalry, there is a scene where Ilya invites Shane to his home and as Shane is saying no, he’s also putting on his jacket and getting ready to leave. A good chunk of Toe to Toe is that dynamic.) They have legitimate concerns about whether they could work as a couple given her career and his aversion to her field.
One of the things I know I’m going to find in a Falon Ballard book is messy characters in messy situations. Allegra starts the book largely shutdown with ballet being her sole focus. Ballet has taught her to look at her flaws first, but it hasn’t broken her. As Cord’s lessons and homework help her find her confidence outside the ballet studio, she exerts her autonomy more explicitly. She makes it clear that she’s sacrificed too much to be where she is to torpedo her career at this point by reporting the director for incidents that he’s been smart enough to keep ambiguous. Whether that’s the right choice or not, it’s her choice and she has the right to make it. Cord’s backstory supports her decision to not go public with her complaints. But the important part is that Allegra has claimed autonomy from her mother, found joy in herself, and isn’t going to give up her dreams for any man – handsy director or new boyfriend.
But where does that leave room for a happily ever after with Cord? I left this book feeling expansive. I loved it.
I received this as an advance reader copy from Putnam and NetGalley. My opinions are my own, freely and honestly given.
