Here’s a collection of Christmas Romances I read over the Holiday Season:
A Merry Little Meet Cute by Julie Murphy & Sierra Simone
A porn producer wants to branch out and make some movies with the wholesome streaming company, the Hope Channel (think Hallmark meets Netflix), but the majority of the cast and crew are injured at a Burning Man-type festival. He hurriedly sends the director a folder of headshots but doesn’t realize he has sent her the headshots of his Adult Film stars. The director is only interested in casting Bee Hobbes, AKA Bianca Von Honey. Bee wants a chance to break into mainline acting and also to meet her childhood crush, Nolan Shaw, a former boy band member. Hilariously, Nolan already knows Bee is an Adult Film star because he is a long-term subscriber to her Closed Doors (think Only Fans) account and thinks of her as his dream girl. Of course, they are immediately attracted to each other, and start a relationship, even though they are both supposed to maintain squeaky-clean reputations.
This book was adorable and smutty. What more can a girl ask for? Seriously, the female main character was plus-sized and the costume designer brought assless chaps to a 19th-century period piece. This book was funny and full of heart. I thoroughly enjoyed it. 5 Stars.
A Holly Jolly Ever After by Julie Murphy & Sierra Simone
This is set in the same world as Meet Cute but features one of Nolan’s former bandmates, Kallum Lieberman. He recently has gained notoriety for a leaked sex tape, and thanks to his “Hot Dad Bod” and his chain of Pizza Restaurants (give it up for the name Slice Slice Baby), is back in the spotlight. So when he is approached to act in a “Hope Channel After Dark” production, he accepts the role of a sexy younger Santa Claus. Playing the future Mrs. Claus is his teenage crush, Winnie Baker. Winnie was raised in Purity Culture, married at 18, divorced in her early 30s, and has never had an orgasm. Who better to help her than her co-star with the sex tape?
This book was a great takedown of Purity Culture and how damaging it is, especially to women. Winnie was scared to look at porn and didn’t even know how to make herself climax. Her ex-husband wasn’t interested in her needs, and she just thought that somehow it would get better. Kallum showed her how wrong her ex was. He was just a sweet goofball. Also, nice to have a guy that didn’t have a ripped six-pack. 4 Stars.
Wreck the Halls by Tessa Bailey
Melody Gallard and Beat Dawkins are both children of Rock Stars. Their mothers were in a band together and were even pregnant at the same time. Unfortunately, they didn’t get to grow up together because there was an acrimonious breakup and their mothers violently hate each other. They only met once, when they were 15, but that short meeting left an impression on both Beat and Melody. Now, at 30, they have been approached by a reality show producer who wants to livestream a reunion concert and everything leading up to it, if they can get their mothers to agree. Melody is painfully shy and has not been treated well in the past by the media. Beat feels protective of her and only agrees to this crazy scheme if she is on board as well. Melody has had a crush on Beat since she was 15, and it becomes obvious to everyone as they begin filming. Soon sparks are flying and the internet is more interested in Beat and Melody’s relationship than the possibility of a reunion concert.
The relationship in this book was cute and didn’t feel forced. It made sense why these two characters had such an instant, deep connection. They were the only ones who could relate to their crazy childhoods! I loved the Hell out of this book. 5 Stars
Christmas on the Thirteenth Floor by Lee Jacquot
Presley is a Personal Assistant to the CEO of a company that does….something….I don’t know if it is ever stated. Her boss, Roman Chen is a raging asshole billionaire. What Presley doesn’t know however is that he is a dick on purpose. He gets off on seeing her seethe and struggle. Literally. He’s a dom and he wants nothing more than to make Presley his sub, but he won’t let himself cross that line. Until he suddenly does. I don’t remember why. I read this one a while ago, it was short, and it was mostly smut. I just don’t get why women fall for domineering assholes, even in fiction. 2 Stars.
In a Holidaze by Christina Lauren
Every year Maelynn’s family joins with the families of her parent’s college friends and has Christmas together at a picturesque cabin in Utah. However, this is going to be the last year because the family that owns it can’t afford to pay for the much-needed renovations. On the way home, Maelynn wishes that she could be happy right as her family’s car is hit by an oncoming truck and she wakes up on the plane, a week earlier, headed to the cabin for Christmas. She relives the same couple of days, and then dies again, in a Groundhog Day situation. She learns which mistakes to avoid, and finally declares her feelings to the guy she has had a crush on since she was a child. Huzzah.
This book had so much potential. She only went back in time 3 times. It would have been much more interesting if she had to repeat the week dozens of times. I couldn’t figure out what was the trigger to send her back. The male love interest was…OK. He was kind of boring and obtuse. My book club read this for December and nobody really loved it. 3 Stars.
Kidnapped by the Krampus by Emily Shore
You didn’t think I was going to do a romance round-up and not include some monster smut, did you? Twyla is a journalist who has been sent to investigate Krampus World, which is a cross between Disneyland and a Haunted House. She makes her way to meet the CEO, who she thinks is just a guy in a really good cosplay. However, he is the actual Krampus, and he abducts her and takes her to his castle where he proceeds to give her like a bajillion orgasms. After about TWO WEEKS, Twyla realizes that it isn’t a costume and he is the real Krampus. How? How the actual FUCK do you not figure this out??? This girl was dumb. DUMB! She even talks about how she reads Monster Romances. ANYWAY, Krampus has some kind of beef with Santa Klaus and Twyla gets caught in the middle and this book was WAAAAAAY too long. I did enjoy the ending though. 3 Stars