I am an avid fan of Book Bub because it allows me to try and read some things that I probably wouldn’t spend full price on. Sometimes that’s a great thing, others not so much. At present, I’m still trying to process how the book cover (which I’m guessing first enticed me) goes with the actual book. It doesn’t, so I should stop trying to figure it out. This book series will probably be chosen by Hallmark Movies and Mysteries to replace all the Candace Cameron Bure ones and it would fit right in there because while it’s not terrible, it’s not exactly good either…ETA: as I was writing my review, it’s actually really terrible but I’m trying to be nice because I feel like the author tried a little.
Lizzie, at 31 is having an early mid-life crisis. She has a terrible, no good, 100% one dimensional boyfriend who often tells her that she should diet. She agrees that needs a diet and that she should try to be a little more put together and perfect for Scott, who just seems like a total douche. Let’s go back to the mid-life crisis she’s having; like all 31 year olds today, she just up and buys a house. It’s not just any house, it’s an old Victorian in terrible repair. But again, like all modern 31 year olds, she just hires a handyman to fix everything. I gotta say, I was super jealous about this part because I’ve lived in the same house now for 20 years and every now and then it gets close to looking finished and then either a child, animal or an act of a malevolent god destroys something…and guess who gets to fix it? Either me or my husband because we don’t have the disposable income of 31 year old Lizzie.
However, I would pay whatever amount of money it would cost to have the handyman Riley come over to my house because just as Lizzie’s boyfriend Scott is the worst human being on the planet, Riley is the best, and the hottest. He plays bingo and goes dancing with his grandmother on Friday nights. He’s very concerned about Lizzie’s well-being and thinks she’s just perfect even though she doesn’t have a perfect figure (despite the fact that a. all signs pointing to the fact that Lizzie does have a socially accepted perfect figure and b. the idea that someone can’t be loved because their bodies aren’t perfect…gag. Please stop with this business already).
There’s romance in this story (kind of), betrayal (that we could see coming from 7 miles away) and a mystery! Riley and Lizzie find a beautiful diamond ring that is appraised for at least $10,000 with love letters under the floor boards. Because they are both “hopeless romantics” they decide that they will try to return the ring to the letter writer as they both know the homeowner has since passed away. That’s when things get dangerous! And by dangerous, I mean there’s some really weird shit happening like her home being broken into and I’m sorry, I just have to say it…someone jerks off on Lizzie’s bed??? I really didn’t see that coming (and Hallmark will leave it out I’m sure).
If you’ve read any of the Stephanie Plum books, you’ve read this book…especially if you’ve been reading the later books of the series. Our heroine here has unruly curly hair, talks about her body in a negative way, has a super hot guy lusting after her but it’s very “will they/won’t they” even though there really doesn’t appear to be any obstacles, she even has a wild grandma who farts at the table, loses her teeth and says the darndest things. I close with my favorite review of this book on Amazon:
There you have it folks, this book is for you! Maybe. I don’t know, maybe you want to be friends with these people. I have no idea how this is a series but maybe it follows one member of the family in each book? Who knows. Not me, and I’m not finding out either.