Cannonball Read 11

Sticking it to Cancer One Book at a Time

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I wish this book had never come to me (or: I’ll take “Lazy, Unfunny Review Titles for Lazy, Unfunny Books” for $200, Alex)

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands by Chelsea Handler

November 13, 2018 by dAvid 5 Comments

CBR10Bingo: Alabama Pink (BINGO!)

I chose Chelsea Handler’s My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands for my Alabama Pink square, thinking I could breeze through it, laughing a bit along the way and then completely forgetting it as soon as I finished, but man, this book was so bad that I couldn’t get past the fifth chapter. I’d already powered my way through some terrible books this year, and the world is just too crappy a place right now, so I gave myself permission to put this one down without finishing. It’s poorly written. It’s juvenile. It’s aggressively offensive and provocative in the “LOOK AT ME I’M EDGY” school of comedy that’s become all too familiar and tiresome. 

Within the first five chapters, she:

  • peddles the most basic racist stereotypes about black men
  • makes a painfully tone-deaf joke about photographing her “victims of sexual assault”
  • dedicates an entire chapter to “sleeping with midgets”

That last one is what broke me. I’m still ashamed I even got that far.

I get that this is all part of her schtick, turning the tables on men by bragging about her own sexual exploits, saying awful things but then deflecting her awfulness with self-deprecation. I get that this was published “way back” in 2005, so maybe we shouldn’t hold her to our “lofty” 2018 standards, but what’s garbage now was garbage then, too. 

I also get that humor is subjective, but not once did I crack a smile, let alone laugh. If you’re going to be EDGY, then at least be funny. Better yet: be funny and subversive. Chelsea Handler is neither of those things, and this book is not worth any more of my time.

Related

Filed Under: Biography/Memoir, Comedy/Humor Tagged With: #CBR10, cbr10bingo, chelsea handler, My Horizontal Life, unfunny, zero stars

Share the post "I wish this book had never come to me (or: I’ll take “Lazy, Unfunny Review Titles for Lazy, Unfunny Books” for $200, Alex)"

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11/13/2018 dAvid's CBR10 Review No:62 |
Rating:
| Tags: #CBR10, cbr10bingo, chelsea handler, My Horizontal Life, unfunny, zero stars | Category: Biography/Memoir, Comedy/Humor | 5 Comments

dAvid

To paraphrase Wynonna: books are my strongest weakness. I love visiting bookshops when I travel and buy tons of books as souvenirs. I finally jumped aboard with CBR10, figuring I should put all of that energy toward helping kick cancer’s ass.

CBR11 participantCBR10 participant

Recent Reviews:

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Comments

  1. narfna says

    November 14, 2018 at 4:51 pm

    So do all who live to read such books, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the books that are given to us.

    P.S. Everyone hates this book and I am starting it tomorrow!

    Reply
    • Malin says

      November 15, 2018 at 7:43 am

      At least you’re likely to get a scathing review out of it. Yay?

      I’m sorry this book sucked, dAvid. The Dud Avocado wasn’t great, either.

      Reply
      • dAvid says

        November 15, 2018 at 3:26 pm

        I was between this and Dud Avocado, so it wasn’t much of a choice. I feel good about the decision to put it down and walk away.

        Reply
    • dAvid says

      November 15, 2018 at 3:29 pm

      Narfna: This comment made the whole experience worth it.

      Insert applause.gif [here]

      Reply
      • narfna says

        November 16, 2018 at 4:37 pm

        I’m just glad someone got the joke!

        Reply

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