I can’t believe this is how I am starting my very first Cannonball Read. I feel like my next review will have to be “War and Peace” for you guys to actually take me seriously. In Russian, obviously.
But before I pretend to be all respectable and stuff, let’s dive into some gay plane sex! Shout out to Patty Smith for loaning me the book, and getting this whole mess started.
Honestly, I was tempted to just post excerpts from the book with insightful comments like WTF?!?, Seriously????, and But it’s a PLANE!!, but I’m going to do my best to write an actual review (I’ll still throw in some excerpts, because you just have to read some of this shit to believe it). Spoilers below, if you’re concerned about that sort of thing.
The book starts with Alex waxing poetic about relationships, how they change and evolve; with friends, co-workers, even with objects. How you could even someday find yourself falling in love with an object, to your complete surprise.
After all, love is for people not things.
Clearly, Alex has never owned a Prada backpack.
As the story unfolds, Alex is the sole passenger on a flight from New York to Los Angeles (I call bullshit). He is freaking out about the turbulence, downing mini bottles of vodka, when a disembodied voice reassures him that everything will be alright. Instead of thinking that he should lay off the sauce, Alex feels like an idiot for not immediately realizing that the plane is speaking to him. After introductions and small-talk, Keith the plane smooths out the turbulence to make his new friend Alex feel better, making me wonder if all flights would be incident-free if only the passengers bothered to make friends with the plane. After Keith talks about how lonely this late night flight would be without Alex, he “…begins to sense a magic between us that seems very real and very important.” Keith also drops the bomb that commercial flying is just a hobby for him, he really makes his fortune as a blackjack card counter, though he neglects to explain how the hell he gets his giant plane self to a table. Does a casino set up a table on the tarmac? Does a dealer sit inside the plane? Is there online blackjack? Can a plane use a computer? I’m thinking about this too much, aren’t I?
Needless to say, sparks fly between man and machine, which leads to some graphic sexy times at Keith’s Beverly Hills mansion. Full review