The most painful wounds are not the ones inflicted by others, but the ones we inflict on ourselves.

CBR18 Bingo: Versus. Mr. Stevens looks back on his life and wonders if he had gone against his nature and his training, would his life have turned out differently.

Why, Mr Stevens, why, why, why do you always have to pretend?
― Kazuo Ishiguro, The Remains of the Day

After all, there’s no turning back the clock now. One can’t be forever dwelling on what might have been. One should realize one has as good as most, perhaps better, and be grateful.
― Kazuo Ishiguro, The Remains of the Day

The most painful wounds are not the ones inflicted by others, but the ones we inflict on ourselves. They are the wounds of regret, of guilt, of knowing that we have failed to live up to our own ideals. These wounds fester in the darkness, hidden from the world, but they bleed us dry, sapping our strength, our will to go on. And as we carry these wounds with us, we begin to realize that they will never heal, that we are destined to suffer in silence, prisoners of our own making.
― Kazuo Ishiguro, The Remains of the Day

Mr. Stevens is the butler at Darlington House, one of the oldest and most prestigious houses in England. Stevens became a butler by following in his father’s footsteps. Although he reiterates that does not regard himself as one of the “great” butlers, he spent his entire life striving to embody the dignity and professionalism of the butlers he most admired. In his mind, if his employer, Lord Darlington, is successful, then Mr. Stevens has achieved the goals of his post.

The story is told in a series of flashbacks as Mr. Stevens takes a roadtrip to Cornwall to visit Ms. Kenton, the former housekeeper of Darlington House. Mr. Stevens and Ms. Kenton served together as head butler and head housekeeper in the 1920s and 30s until Ms. Kenton got engaged and resigned her post. Now that Lord Darlington has passed away, Darlington House is owned by an American, Mr. Farraday. Mr. Stevens stayed on as butler but the majority of the house staff was let go, leaving only a skeleton crew of servants to support the upkeep of the manor. Via letters, Mr. Stevens ascertains that Ms. Kenton is dissatisfied with her current life, has left her husband, and could be persuaded to return to Darlington House as head housekeeper again. Her return would surely solve the “inconsistencies” that Mr. Stevens has noticed in his own work and the work of the current staff.

This book is the ultimate exercise in reading between the lines. The writing is brilliant, as is the slow-burn reveal of the relationship between Stevens and Ms. Kenton, as well as the gradual downfall of Lord Darlington. This is a masterclass in how to create a sympathetic yet ultimately infuriating character. We see the train crash happening in slow motion, but there is nothing there to prevent it. In other words, “Stevens gonna Stevens.”

This will not go into my pile of favorites, but the storytelling was masterful and the message is something that will stay with me for a long time. Although I hated Klara and the Sun, I enjoyed this book.