Major spoilers follow throughout this review.
I have mixed feelings about this one. I did enjoy it and thought it was an interesting story, but there are big parts of the work that make it probably impossible for me to recommend to the average person. Jin is an adult film star and a top who gets paired with Hikaru all the time for the gay porn company they work for, Cherry Bonbon. Cherry Bonbon makes gay porn aimed at women, and the part of the plot exploring the company being set up and the business model is presenting in a humorous but thoughtful way. Hikaru and Jin both have difficult pasts, with Jin having trouble with relationships and a fraught relationship with his teenage son. Hikaru has a much darker past, as he was sexually abused by his brother and pimped by him until he kills his brother with the help of a boyfriend. Now he’s trying to rebuild his life without telling anyone, but the truth is revealed and they have to deal with the fallout.
I appreciated that the book’s position statement is basically that there’s nothing shameful about doing porn or having a difficult past, and that everyone deserves a second chance and someone to love them. Both Jin and Hikaru are complex characters and I liked how the relationship between them developed and how Jin changed from being someone who never could settle down to falling in love and caring for Hikaru. I also really liked the art here, which was detailed and expressive, capable of showing a full range from comedy to tragedy. My hesitation is the subplot with Jin’s 14 year old son, who shows up and immediately gets a crush on Hikaru and kisses him. The age gap and the way the son are portrayed were jarring, especially since it seemed to be played a bit for laughs, and I didn’t find it funny. The tonal shifts between the comedic parts about the porn company and then Hikaru’s horrific past were also unsettling since there is no warning about the sudden descent into hell we were about to witness — the first chunk of the book is pretty lighthearted and then suddenly we get this extended flashback reveal of Hikaru being raped and sex trafficked, and then the murder, and it’s very sad and terrible to see happening. The examination of one’s debt to society and culpability in murder is also interesting to see here. I did wonder while reading this if there’s some sort of cultural gap, because this is not the first BL I’ve read that mixes comedy with truly out of the blue horrific things occurring to the characters, and I wonder if in the US we’re used to more clearly delineated tones or moods in our books? I just don’t tend to expect almost slapstick type scenes followed by rape scenes. There’s probably a research paper in there somewhere about where this gap is coming from. Again, I liked this and I’m left thinking especially about the last sequence, which I found very moving, but the stuff with Jin’s son made me uncomfortable and I don’t think this is one for anyone who doesn’t want to read dark themes. I think they really should have put some hint about this in the cover copy, which makes the book appear to be pretty fluffy, which it is not!
Warnings for: sexual/physical/emotional abuse, rape, murder, age gap crush/kiss between a 14 year old and an adult (and then the 14 year old keeps trying to pursue his dad’s partner and watches the porn that his dad is in??? Didn’t love that!), etc.
