The Backup by cheeryos
“Poor Ronan here might as well be celibate. How long has it been?” She whispers theatrically, “I think he’s saving himself for Vin Diesel.”
Ronan shoves her to shut her up. She’s wrong, anyways. He had always wanted to be Vin Diesel growing up. Which, naturally, meant that he’d wanted to fuck Paul Walker. Now that it’s been brought up, he notices that Adam kind of fits into the Paul Walker mold, with his blue eyes and tanned face and wheat-stalk hair.
He wisely doesn’t mention this to the group.
I’m capping off my Cannonballread with a favorite re-read of mine. It is set in my beloved The Raven Cycle universe, and is an AU of the Christmas film “Holidate.”
I have never seen Holidate. I may never see it. It doesn’t matter. Instead, I will read this fic again and again and not watch a movie with actors I don’t know and don’t care about while silently seething that it is not the way it appears in my head, dammit.
Ronan and Adam meet at a cozy little dive bar on Christmas night. Adam is working there and Ronan is hiding out after some intense family time with his brother, his sister-in-law, his other brother, and that brother’s freshly-minted fiancée. He is sick of the patronizing looks everyone keeps sending his happily-single ass, so he goes to drink and scratch back some of his sanity at the nearest bar.
They get to talking and Ronan laments how nice it would be if he could just have a no-strings-attached-plus-one to these sorts of family activities (weddings, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc..) to keep his family off of his case and to have someone he can chat with instead of being relegated to the kids table with his elementary-school-aged nieces.
When Adam admits it’s a solid plan, Ronan dares him to be his plus-one for the New Year’s Eve party he’s obliged to attend.
What I love about this is that Ronan is so funny and so clueless. Each chapter is a new holiday, and it kicks off strong with New Year’s Eve. Valentine’s Day is a slow-motion car crash when Ronan intercepts Adam as Adam stammers and has a silent meltdown during an encounter with his ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend (Adam’s ex-best friend).
Ronan peeks around the corner. Yep, that’s Adam Parrish alright, in plaid flannel pants and a green puffy coat thrown over a shirt that’s sporting more than a few holes around the collar. Ronan is almost surprised to see he’s wearing shoes; it’s the sort of outfit that demands fuzzy bunny slippers.
He looks like a deer in headlights. No, he looks like a deer that’s already been flattened. Or maybe the deer is rabid. There’s definitely something supremely fucked up about this deer. Adam’s stance is braced for impact and he’s smiling like an evil clown, with crazy eyes and all his teeth bared. Ronan’s never seen this side of him. He’d always seemed so unflappable, but here he stands, incredibly…flapped.
I think about this fic often because each chapter is a little gem of family dysfunction, sibling dynamics, “ha ha but we’re just friends”, cluelessness between Ronan and Adam, and so much pining.
If you’re desperate to get out of the guest room or off the sofabed after a week with family, this charming romcom is a balm for your frayed nerves.
