Oh you’d best believe i have some quotes to post from this delightful book. But tomorrow bc I’m tired.
Okay, it’s tomorrow, here are some quotes. Honestly, the plot in this one is four-star but the writing is what bumped it up to a five for me. This book vibrates at exactly my frequency and thus I am insulted it did not receive a print release and isn’t being widely read. The dialogue in this book made me want to pack up my life and fly to England to find the author and befriend them.
– – –
“Do you need me to ring the customer service people and frighten them into giving you a refund? I love doing that.”
“Ambrose says that Haf’s taste in men can be summarised as guys who might live like raccoons and are a bit grubby-hot, like Robert Pattinson now, or anyone from the Italian band that won Eurovision a few years ago. The women she found attractive couldn’t be more different, though—suited, secretly dorky and possibly about to organize a heist.”
“There’s something she really doesn’t like about this man. It’s a kind of instinctual primal reaction that she wants to kick him in the back of the knees and run away.”
“Christopher, do you always talk in riddles? It’s like having a conversation with a wizard on a bridge.”
“‘Can you not hear it?’
‘Hear what?’
‘The comfortable sound of inherited wealth, Christopher.'”
“The dogs, clearly aware of the sexual tension above them, start whining very loudly. They probably think she’s having some kind of medical emergency from all the physiological signs of being completely mortified and horny all at once.”
“The fifth glass is unarguably clean. Especially because Haf has been pretending to scrub at a stain that isn’t there, like a horny Lady Macbeth wanting to prolong the moment.”
“‘A bit of fresh air never hurt anyone.’
‘Tell that to all the dead people on Everest.'”
“Ambrose: baking together is probably inherently romantic
Ambrose: i bet you’re making big, gooey eyes across the flour while listening to inappropriate pop songs about unrequited lesbian love
Ambrose: are we just friends or lovers, what is flirting, idk i’m just too gay, oooh oooh ohh”
“‘Do you not get a lot of that in architecture? I’d have thought you’d all be jizzing yourself over bricks, or something.’
Kit snorts with laughter. ‘Jizzing ourselves?’
‘Yeah, you know. “Ooh, that’s a lovely bit of wall. Look at that light.”‘”
“Look, it was only because I didn’t want you to like throw me out or something. And I was trying really hard to repress everything. You know, just keep it all inside until I just die.”
“‘You look like a puppy that’s just been kicked.’
‘Why do you know what that looks like?'”
“We put so much effort into it, and I tanked it by being a horny goblin.”
