I think this is my first ever Cannonball book that I DID NOT FINISH. I saw this book somewhere (I legit have no idea where), and it caught my eye because the main character is named Alex Green, and also duh – dragons. My cousin who lives in Arizona who just left Pennsylvania after visiting our entire family is named Alex Green. I was pumped when I read the plot too.
Whoo boy. I borrowed this audiobook from the library, and I was so excited once my hold came up. By the time I QUIT this book I was listening to it at nearly 2x speed. I had it for almost two weeks by the time I realized how angry it was making me. I listened to it primarily in the car, and I’m already an angry driver, so adding this book into the mix was a BAD choice. I quit this book at 40%, and I think there were still like ten hours left. I did it for my mental health, and the health of all the other drivers on my commute!
The premise of this book is that women turn into dragons. Like come on, that’s an awesome premise. Unfortunately, the author decided that the best way to honor this story was to hammer in a gigantic dose of child abuse, neglect, homophobia, misogyny, and just some regular old assholery.
I think Alex’s mom dragoned (I refuse to keep listening to confirm), was gone for months, and then came back to her family. NOBODY ever talked about it. Her aunt Marla helped take care of the family for months and months while Alex’s mom got better. Then there’s a mass dragoning where women all over the world spontaneously turn into dragons. They burn down buildings, roast their husbands or bosses, and NOBODY WILL TALK ABOUT IT. Marla is one of the women who dragoned. Alex’s family pretends that MARLA NEVER EXISTED! Alex’s mom says that Marla’s daughter was always her sister, and that she has no aunt.
Marla was a closeted lesbian, and I think Alex is too (again, I refuse to keep listening to confirm). Alex’s dad was apparently having an affair for years, so he’s just a big bag of asshole. Alex is really smart, and he flat out tells her that girls shouldn’t go to college and waste the spot of a man. I could literally rail against the misogyny all day, but I value my mental health.
I drew the line at listening to this book when Alex’s mom died of cancer, and her dad moved his new pregnant mistress into the house, and moved the girls into their own apartment when Alex was 15. I was screaming at my car speaker. That’s when I called it and stopped.
I just read a review that said: I was not expecting a concept so brilliant as “oppressed often gay housewives in the 1950s get so angry they transform into dragons and eat their oppressive husbands before flying off” to be boring.
He or she HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD! Not only did it make me ragey, it was sooooo boring. I wanted more dragons, and I wanted more man roasting.
If you value your mental health, DO NOT RED THIS BOOK!