I really enjoyed this and it was uplifting to read after the Dahmer book I just got through, where the author was associating gay sex and being gay with corrupting people’s souls. Men Loving Men is partially a straight forward guide to gay sex, but it’s also a “consciousness book,” which in this case meant a lot of cheerful and thoughtful positivity. I had thought it was mainly going to be a sex ed book, as I’d somehow missed the subtitle, so I was pleasantly surprised by all the historical background he included and the self-esteem focus. This is a book that’s very of its time period (1977) so a lot of it is aimed at conveying the message that being gay is healthy and normal, and to try to work through some of the negative societal messages that it’s easy to take on. Walker later became a Jungian psychologist, so there’s a lot in here about getting in touch with more spiritual elements and the deeper divine elements of spirituality. Not all of that clicked with me, but it was still interesting to read.
Because this was published in 1977, it’s pre-AIDS and so the health chapter is really bittersweet to read. That’s also the only part of the book that’s really outdated in terms of being potentially dangerous if someone picked this up and didn’t know when it was published. I don’t think this could be used as a reference guide without knowing the historical context. The chapters about sex are just really nice and focused on being in the moment and accepting yourself. Or as he puts it: “good consciousness, feeling relaxed, and wanting to explore….In Harmony: easy, relaxed, feeling safe, OK. You are a changing, alive being, and your mood will suit different activities at different times.” The philosophical elements he touched on are still very relevant. I felt like I was in the presence of a very helpful, wise person, and I honestly got a lot more out of this on a deep level than I expected. Because I’m trans, I did have some personally complicated feelings about the book in general, but he had a really nice section where he talked about genderfuck and how he was at first bothered by “transvestites,” but then he figured out that was him being scared and now he likes dressing up and opening up that new side of himself. He ended up by saying that “sex roles, being a ‘man’ or a ‘woman,’ are just as much fantasies external to my true nature as much as any play-role.” So that was very cheering to read.
Overall, I did enjoy this way more than I expected and it was a great way to recenter myself and feel validated after the previous upsetting book.
Warnings for: explicit sexual discussion, chapter on S&M/fetishes, photo section of naked photos and naked illustrations throughout.