Man, this is a rough one. This is a contemporary love story (though I wouldn’t call it a romance novel, despite sharing of the qualities of one), that functions in three distinct sections: her, him, them. It’s the novel of two people from very traumatic and rough childhoods meeting as adults. And because we meet them as adults, we are brought into their story as their courtship and relationship unfolds — this is the clearly familiar space. But because we spend a good long section of this novel in each of their childhoods, we also know the untreated trauma, pain, and psychology that has brought them to this moment in their later lives.
It’s hard to takes sides in this novel, even if we wish the characters would make the choices we want them to make.
Their childhoods mean everything. There’s a phrase I think about from time to time, especially in reflection to my own relationships that didn’t work out. It’s one thing for two people to realize they shouldn’t be together and things just sort of run their course, and especially best if that happens with a minimal amount of pain. But as someone once told me “Hurt people, hurt people.” And when we have a young girl witnessing violence, homophobia, misogyny and instability and taking that untreated into adulthood we understand both the cause and effects. And when a young boy is sexually assaulted by an older man and toxic masculinity is used as a cudgel to further hurt him and keep him from seeking help, we understand the man he grows up to be. This is a painful and illuminating book.
(Photo: https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Donovan-Bernice-L-McFadden/dp/1617753181/ref=sr_1_1?crid=A212S81KO95C&keywords=loving+donovan&qid=1565730635&s=books&sprefix=loving+don%2Cdigital-text%2C124&sr=1-1)