Rebecca Traister delves into the history of women’s anger and how it has motivated them and pushed them to fight for their beliefs. It also examines how society feels about women’s anger, and that women are often punished for daring to show their emotions, especially if that emotion is perceived as negative. Men are viewed as powerful and authoritative if they get mad – they’re allowed to, it’s expected, and it must be coming from a reasonable place. When a woman shows her anger she’s unhinged, shrill, manipulative, weak. It’s a double standard that prevents a lot of women from using their anger for good, using it as fuel to make change. Or just to feel a little bit better about getting it out of their system.
Traister gives examples of the Suffragists and civil rights activists, second wave feminists, the recent #metoo movement, and Hillary Clinton’s presidential loss and the rise of Trump to showcase the various strengths (and weaknesses) of women’s anger. How it can spur women to run for office in unprecedented numbers and leave them open to criticism.
I don’t know how to review this book really. It spoke to me even though it is very American-centric. I am not American, I don’t live there, I can’t vote there, or run for office or make any kind of change within that society. I can only be infuriated from afar and on its behalf by what I see happening there everyday. But even so, it still felt personal at times. I’m someone who doesn’t often get mad, who spends my life biting my tongue for fear of confrontation. I have smiled to diffuse situations and kept my feelings to myself when I’ve wanted to scream. Because I knew it would reflect badly on me. Because we’re not allowed to be mad and show that anger even when we have very good reasons. It’s a form of silencing and I for one am glad that the dams are finally bursting, even if it makes a lot of people uncomfortable. I think of the brave Christine Blasey Ford giving her testimony with grace and calm, when she would be within her rights to shred those people to pieces with her ire. But she couldn’t, because it would be used against her. I think of all the women who want to yell and scream and can’t.
I started marking pages with quotes I liked, but it got to the point where I was marking almost every page, so instead of filling this review with them I’ll just say read the book. Be mad.
