I’ll just start this off by saying that I didn’t like this book…at all. I was sucked in by Amazon’s statement, “for readers of Rainbow Rowell and Maria Semple” who like offbeat characters and subtle humor or some such nonsense. It’s 100% not funny. Not even once did I giggle or even crack a smile while reading this book. No, dear friends, do not fall for this at all because it’s simply not true, the main character is not funny–she’s a nightmare and nothing she’s doing seems to have any comedic effect. Instead I kept thinking, “How is this person 26? She acts like she’s a 6 year old”. I found this title while looking for a book for my book gang (cooler than a book club and way more fierce) and so I gave it a chance–and then promptly picked a different book-because I thought this one was pretty, pretty bad.
This is the story of 26 year old Julia Greenfield who is still a virgin but doesn’t want to be. Her obsession with her virginity is something that she deals with on (what seems like) a minute by minute basis as she imagines what it would be like, or what so and so would be like as a lover and instead of making actual connections with other human beings, she just seems to be bumbling through her life badly. She decides to spend her summer in North Carolina with her Aunt Vivienne when her parents make the surprising move to Costa Rica (maybe? I don’t really remember). Having not seen her aunt for years, it’s an awkward arrangement but very quickly, Aunt Viv reveals that she too, is a virgin (at the age of 60). Julia pretty much feels like she doesn’t want to turn out like her aunt (which in my estimation, I’d much rather be Aunt Viv that a terrible person like Julia) and so she goes on a mission to lose the dreaded “V card”…as seen in such movies as Road Trip, or Sixteen Candles…but…wait, there’s just one problem–the problem is that Julia is a really unlikable character. For instance, I think I’d rather have Annie Wilkes play doctor on my ankles than have to hang out with Julia. And it’s really no wonder that she hadn’t had intimacy before because she’s definitely stunted emotionally. But don’t worry, there’s no actual growth while she’s with her aunt!
Julia bumbles through her time there, she makes terrible choices, destroys her aunt’s art in an act of sheer selfishness that made me want to stop reading the book, she may or may not have lost her virginity, she definitely attempted to save the day by hosting a gallery show with her aunt’s artwork, and then moves away to continue her life. The end. I don’t really want you to ever waste your time or money on this book. I feel like there’s an interesting story here–but that story was Aunt Vivienne’s and we barely got to focus on her at all. It’s a shame.