While exploring the galactic core, the Enterprise finds a lost Federation shuttle with a crazy person inside. He seems to be a major plot point, but we will soon forget about him completely. The Enterprise is then steered by an unknown force to a Dyson sphere and taken inside it. There are Klingons inside, too. They seem to be a major plot point, but we will soon forget about them completely. There are small, ape-like natives in the sphere and after Kirk saves the life of one of them, she thinks they’re married. This seems to be a major plot point, but then she turns her attention to Sulu and we forget about the situation completely. The natives are afraid of ‘The Strangers,’ who are zombies/vampire victims. Uhura’s father is one of The Strangers. This seems to be a major plot point, but you get the picture.
It turns out that the sun inside the sphere is alive, sentient, telepathic, and a god. Ay-nab is going to send the sphere into a black hole because intelligent beings are warmongers, destructive, and bloodthirsty. Kirk delivers a Patrick Stewart Speech, which doesn’t work until Kirk’s Accidental Wife offers her life in return for Kirk’s. I mean, they were all gonna die anyway, so I guess she offers to die twice? Ay-nab spares them and Kirk passes out. He awakens in sickbay, in the care of Chief Engineer Scott. I don’t know; I’m just reporting what I read.
There’s a lot going on here and many characters, but it’s disjointed and very boring.
Random Thoughts written down as I read:
There are no bed pillows on the enterprise. There are jets of air that support the head and neck.
Spock knows Jesus Christ by sight.
Scotty’s brogue gets worse when he’s excited. Or it goes away. Whatever.
To hell with Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations! Spock wants all of the civilized world to adopt the discipline of logic.
Oh yeah, BTDubs, the ship made a course change on its own.
The Dyson sphere is big enough to house every intelligent creature in the Federation. They immediately begin to scan it kilometer by kilometer. When Kirk is on the surface, he can see the bowl shape of the horizon. So I really have no idea what the size of this thing is.
Chekov is intelligent and witty.
There is a Universal Language.
There is a Klingon Princess. Of course there is.
The Klingon ship doesn’t have sensors or computers. There was no malfunction; that’s how Klingon ships are. Why are the Klingons even here? They aren’t a threat and they aren’t a help. They serve no purpose to the plot—oh wait. Princess Kyanna’s uniform is short-shorts and thigh-high leather boots. There it is.
Uhura, whose name is Swahili for ‘truth,’ “made a phrase once.” I don’t know what that means, but she is proud of her French background. She is graceful, but can’t eat fruit because she is watching her figure. She’s served with Kirk since she was an ensign. He knew her father, who is here on/in the Dyson sphere after being lost in space years ago. I think he’s a zombie. Uhura’s dad, not Kirk.
Did you know Chapel is in love with Spock? She’s probably dreaming about him right now.
McCoy decides not to warn Kirk that a man from the sphere says the sphere is dangerous. Because there’s no proof, and McCoy doesn’t share ideas.
Sulu is with the landing party on the surface, so no one replaces him at the helm.
Spock leans over McCoy and smells his breath.
WTF Quote: “There was a certain confidence to be gained from being ignorant.”