When I say I love true crime, I don’t mean “they found her in pieces in the basement” true crime. Heists, cons, grifts, and capers are more my speed, which is what drew me to the story of Doris Payne, an international jewel thief who got away with robbing some of the world’s best jewelers for over sixty years.
“Diamonds” by qthomasbower is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 
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Payne was born in West Virginia, lived in Cleveland, and made her first big score in Pittsburgh, which cements her status as a Rust Belt Queen. Her difficult childhood contained a number of pivotal experiences that basically made her throw up her hands and say, “The hell with respectability, I am going to just STEAL THINGS.”
And so, partially self-taught, partially mentored by other criminals she met on her journey, Doris Payne conned countless jewelers out of their wares. It’s a fascinating string of thefts, made even more impressive by the fact that her technique really shouldn’t have worked. She got away with as much as she did on the strength of sheer confidence, misdirection, and illusion, which is how the best cons work: show people what you want them to see, and you can get away with quite a lot.
The book is divided into sections that mirror qualities of diamonds: color, clarity, cut, and carat. The anecdotes are evenly divided between Payne’s personal life and her thefts, and it’s all gripping, but the memoir really takes off when she goes international. The Monte Carlo heist, and the London-Paris-Rome trifecta, were jaw-dropping. I loved reading about Payne’s family and friends, too, all colorful characters, from her mobster boyfriend to her criminal bestie, Shirley.
The whole story just screams “Where is the movie?” There is a documentary you can check out, but to give this saga the big-screen fictionalization it deserves, we’re just all going to have to poke Tessa Thompson and ask her what the holdup is. In the meantime, you should definitely check out this book, if only for the unique narrative voice. You don’t have to like heists to appreciate the story of a woman who looked at the cards life dealt her and chose to unwrap a fresh deck instead.