I like cultural history, and I also have a passing interest in etiquette; I figured English Etiquette: The motivation behind the manners might be interesting. I was wrong; this isn’t interesting; it’s infuriating.
Going by the title and introductory chapter, this sounds like a discussion of the history and practicality of English Victorian manners and some possible modern updates. Nope; instead what this book is a prescriptive “how to be English” in the most stereotypical, misogynist, almost xenophobic thing I’ve seen in a long time. The book does make an effort to sound politically correct, but it comes off as insincere most of the time. For example, when discussing “Good Health & Gastronomy”, “There is very little excuse for being excessively overweight. Science has proven time and time again that obesity and disease are triggered by personal environment and personal choice. {…} Before the with hunt start, this is not fat-shaming, this is health-giving advice and a much needed stern wake up call coming from a place of love.” I’m not even going to dignify this with an explanation/exploration.
Sometimes it’s more subtle though, for example in the ‘happy house and home’ section, you will see the advice that whoever is the bread-winner is the head of household and thus should get extra respect from everyone else; “Wives, do not resent you husband if he is in this position, but instead look to support him in his decisions.” This wouldn’t be as bad if balanced by the option that the reverse could also be true. Notice how there is virtually no history here; just a reliance on some ugly social cliches and no attempt to critically address any potential modernization.
Some of the ideas aren’t that bad, such as the how to stand with elegant posture (one foot a bit ahead of the other, front foot at 11 o’clock, back foot [weight bearing] at 2 o’clock) actually makes some sense but without a touch of explanation of the anatomy involved, doesn’t even come close to making up for the problems elsewhere.
Some of the content is just plain unrealistic, such as the unstated assumption that good behavior is easily taught and enforced with children, and in the wardrobe section (both for men and women, but especially for women) assumes a degree of disposable income that’s incredibly classist given the acceptable brands listed.
And when might this lovely tome have been published? 2019. Given the state of the world today, I can’t say I’m surprised, but it’s still disappointing to see something so tone deaf when it could have been something so much better.
