Heated Rivalry
Ilya smiled to himself. He actually loved this. He loved being on the road, and disappointing home crowds across North America. He loved the insults, the booing, and, most of all, the sound of a crowd so gutted by his team’s performance that they couldn’t even bother to boo. A winded, humiliated crowd. That was Ilya’s favorite sound.
― Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry“Um, and this is….Ilya. Rozanov. You probably know that.”
What were they, exactly? It occurred to Shane that he and Ilya hadn’t even figured out what label they were comfortable with.
“Lovers,” Ilya offered.
Fuck, way to choose the grossest possible word, Ilya.
Well, there was no going back from that word. Shane could only wait for the aftermath.
“But…you hate him,” Mom said.
“No, I…don’t. I mean. Sometimes I do, kinda. But mostly I..love him. Actually.”
― Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry
Since they were eighteen, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov were pitted against one another as the best of the next generation of hockey players; Shane as the hometown hero and Ilya as the cocky Russian playboy everyone loved to hate. Ilya and Shane were thrust into the spotlight as the perfect rivalry before they were even signed to Montreal (Shane) and Boston (Ilya). So, on the eve of their rookie season, they are both floored when they realize they want to dominate each other off the ice as well as on it.
This book takes us through nine years of Shane and Ilya’s relationship as they grow into men, the kind of men who lead their teams to national championships. Off the ice, they meet up whenever they can, sometimes mere hours after their teams crush one another, to work out their frustrations in private. Even though they both sleep with other people, they cannot “not” be together at every available opportunity. They want to not want each other. They know it is messed up and extremely dangerous. Shane is worried about his career and what his family with think of him. If Ilya loses his spot, he could be sent home to Russia. Somewhere along the way, they realize that this messed up relationship is worth the risk.
There are no openly-gay players in the NHL. Even if Shane and Ilya could come out, they would be crucified by the fans and alienated by their teammates. It would be one thing to come out as gay. It would be another thing to confess that you have been screwing your most-hated enemy for years.
The longing and angst make this story great. The banter between Shane and Ilya elevates it to the next level. Ilya is an asshole with a heart of gold. Shane is a prude who, deep in his heart, wants to be bad. Together, they start to take up space in one another’s lives, filling in places that trauma and the bottomless hunger for success have hollowed out.
Content warnings for the mention of suicide off page.
The Long Game
He’d always imagined that the hockey world’s reaction if he and Ilya were ever found out would be the biggest nightmare to deal with, but maybe the bigger challenge was hiding. Maybe keeping how he felt about Ilya a secret was more draining than facing the backlash.
― Rachel Reid, The Long Game“I could not say any of the things I wanted to say. I said you were a great hockey player. A nice guy. Very competitive. All of the shit that any of your teammates could have said.” Ilya sighed loudly, then continued in a quieter tone.
“When you watch it, this is what you will see. Me saying nothing. I wanted to say you were fucking everything to me. Everything, okay?”
― Rachel Reid, The Long Game
Shane and Ilya are still rivals, but their teams are not. After becoming a free agent, Ilya accepted a contract with Ottawa, which is one of the worst-ranked teams in the division. He still plays against Shane, but geographically they are much closer. Shane’s team has just won its third Stanley Cup. Instead of celebrating his success, Shane embarks on a punishing fitness program to be the top player in the league. He is on top and he will to do everything he can to remain there.
Ilya knows his team is crap, but he’s having fun. He loves his teammates and they love him. He’s a dick but, as their captain and as their friend, he takes care of his players. He hates losing, but he knows that being with Shane and building toward the long-term goals of being a Canadian citizen while continuing to play hockey makes the sacrifice worth it.
Now that more players have come out as gay, Ilya believes that he and Shane could find a way to be together publicly sooner rather than later. But Shane is terrified of being found out. He has given everything to his team and he is afraid that it could all vanish in an instant. The more Ilya pushes him to relax, the harder Shane works. Ilya, meanwhile, is forced to accept that he is not okay mentally or emotionally. He is terrified that he is like his mother and he believes he needs to “fix” himself so he does not let Shane down. While Shane chases his fourth Stanley Cup, Ilya is left behind, crushed under the weight of his own fear and keeping such a heavy secret.
Eventually, everything does come crashing down and Shane and Ilya have to find a way to navigate their new reality. This book does a few things brilliantly. First of all, it doesn’t oversimplify depression and mental health issues. Ilya is struggling and he struggles for a long, long time. Even when he decides to meet with a therapist, things do not go smoothly. There is never any illusion that he has been healed or his problems are solved. Instead, we see him go back and forth between enjoying the good things in his life while living with the nagging dread that the heaviness will return. Even though Shane knows something is wrong, Ilya won’t tell him and Shane doesn’t know what to do. Both of these characters are frustrating and stubborn and so sympathetic. Everything they do, all of their fears and reactions, feels very true.
Despite all of this angst, this sequel is so beautiful. Now that these two idiots are all in, the tenderness and awe they hold for one another is breathtaking. The final installment in this series is one I will read again and again. It is painful, but the resolution is worth it.
Content warnings for mentions and descriptions of suicide off page, depression, and mentions of sexual assault.
