Yes, my friends there is a book called Becky: The Throat Goat (Rejected Children’s Books). Brad Gosse is the author. But something tells me that might not be their real name. Or even one person. After all, would you admit to writing a book about a goat named Becky who has a long throat and can take anything large or small? Who is a tease at parties and oh boy, I leave the rest up to you. And Brad Gosse has other things (of course they do) and as said I’m assuming they are hiding their identity as would you admit to writing Sex Toy Story? Or Meet The Karens: They’re Angry And They Want Attention? Or that classic, Mom and Dad’s Swinger Party? I mean, I am warped, but even my “poem” Roll a Big Fatty and Lead Paint and Whores is Mother Theresa level compared to these not too subtle innuendo books.
I had the sound off (thank goodness for subtitles) as I was watching during lunch. At work. Of course, I had the added pleasure of having a young, hot, Scottish lad (call me Mrs. Robinson!) read this. Well, he would have if the sound was on, but I’ve heard him read these books before, and other videos he does (you should watch him try and say the words Scottish people have issues saying). His comments are funny (if not more funny) than the book (not to mention, in a Scottish accent). I was watching this via a Facebook link, and since it is suggestive I guess I better not watch with sound. Or if he does the not so subtle We’re Not Camping: Mom And Dad Lied We’re Homeless, or Pedoclown: Can’t Catch A Break, Humpty Dumpty: Discovers Workplace Misconduct, or Cinnamon: Visits The Glue Factory (they are a horse who also has a career forced on them as well). And I doubt that A Is For Alcoholism: Alphabet Soup or Baa Baa Black Sheep: Deals With Another “Routine” Stop will be read by them (or watch by me) anytime soon.
You see, these books are not really kid friendly (You don’t say! (you say) I thought the one about my big black hawk was about conservation!). I am not saying these books are bad, but they are bad. Maybe some are bad to the point of being good and some are just bad to the point they are bad. Yet, they are out there. I do not see your local independent bookstore carrying too many (if any) or even your local chain store having them. But you can ordered for you and I am sure there is an adult store out there that carries, Santa’s Lil Humper: Saves Christmas; Cavity Cat: He Comes In Your Mouth And Gives You Cavities; Dead Babies (several volumes) and Florida Man Stan: Raids The Capitol For His Stimulus.
