Well hellooooo. I am three reviews behind which for me is an albatross of sorts that I let guilt me into not reading until I get caught up, because um, reasons?? What an appropriate book to HAPPILY dive back in with, a bit of psychotherapy. This might be my favorite book of the year WHICH MAKES ME HAPPY. I’m presently in therapy and think everyone could benefit from it. If you are similar, than you’ll likely take to this book like a duck to water. However, if you raise a skeptical eyebrow at therapy but have a hankering for some self discovery, then dip your toes into this pool and let the authenticity, warmth, and truth nuggets wash over you. And obviously, this is my Cannonball Read Bingo Happy pick because this book truly filled me with lightness and joy.
Lori Gottlieb is a therapist in crisis. Her long-term relationship just ended, she has a looming book deadline, and is stuck. So this is a book about a therapist, in therapy, relationships with some of her patients, and her relationship with her own therapist. And it is MARVELOUS. For me, there is nothing that raises my spirits more than a glimpse into someone that shows you how (gasp) normal they are, and by the transitive property, how (gasp) normal your own insecurities/fears/hang-ups are.
I am not generally a book highlighter or (gasp) page folder, but this puppy made me pull out the marker AND earmark pages. Like, this is the book I keep pestering everyone about. I’ve chosen some of my favorite passages to share, so read on for what I identified as helpful and salient insight.
In reference to one of her clients, a bit of a jerkwad, “When working with couples on empathy, often I’ll say, before you speak asking yourself “what is this going to feel like to the person I’m speaking to?”
In reference to helping her young son cope with her break-up, “And then I stopped talking because nothing I said would help him right then. He was going to have to feel sad.”
In reference to what often happens when people have a life event and start therapy, “Here people procrastinate or self-sabotage as a way to stave off change – even positive change – because they’re reluctant to give something up without knowing what they’ll get in it’s place. The hiccup at this stage is that change involves the loss of the old and the anxiety of the new. Although often maddening for friends and partners to witness, this hamster wheel is part of the process; people need to do the same thing over and over a seemingly ridiculous number of times before they’re ready to change.”
Just AT ME NEXT TIME, GOTTLIEB. Yeah, so. I love this book. A lot. And I like her. And it’s being turned into a TV show, so I’m amped about her success. I just have to decide how long to wait before reading it again…