Disclaimer: We started this review in September. SEPTEMBER. It’s been sitting here, idling, mocking us. “Go ahead,” it kept saying, “Snark away. Try it. I DARE YOU”. We’ve had phone calls about it. We’ve tried different snark tactics. We’ve read some serious crap since, trying to recapture our inner snark bitch. All of our efforts have been for naught. We both really, really liked it. A lovely little surprise that totally threw us off our game. We blame Ms. Julien.
“Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life;
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their parents’ strife.
The fearful passage of their death-mark’d love,
And the continuance of their parents’ rage,
Which, but their children’s end, nought could remove,
Is now the two hours’ traffic of our stage;
The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.”
Katie: Two independent publishing houses have been forced to merge for financial reasons. Our fair protagonists are executive assistants to their respective CEOs. This is how Lucy and Josh end up sharing an office and the Hating Game begins. She smiles at him upon introduction, he does not. Everything after that is a game of one-upping the other. She is adored by her co-workers. He is respected at best.
Patty: Nah, nah. She’s like:
And he’s more like:
Katie: The CEOs decide to create a COO position to manage the day to day running of things. Each wants their assistant to apply for the position. This would mean that the winner would become their rival’s boss.
Patty: You are being waaaay too kind by stating that they try to ‘one-up’ each other; they absolutely despise each other and spend most of their working hours participating in Passive-Aggressive Office Olympics. It is glorious.
Patty: The snark and the smolder, in equal measures. Sweet mother Mary… the venomous but blatantly sexually charged back-and-forth between our H/h filled my cold, dead heart with such joy.
Katie: Moving along…
You really couldn’t have two more different people if you tried. She’s flexible with deadlines and wants to be everyone’s friend. He’s the one that composed the lay-off list for his company before the merger and keeps a coded day planner. I mean, she’s OBVIOUSLY a Gryffindor and he’s obviously a Slytherin.
Patty: Anywhoodles, our couple spends 50% of the book bickering and the other 50% accidentally learning about each other, which OF COURSE leads to ~feelings~.
As big of a dick as our hero was, once we discover the root of the dickishness, it does more than just expunge his sins, it actually explains his personality and that leads to more ~feelings~.
Patty: Um. I dunno. The dad? He was a little too… easy of a villain. Maybe? I’m grasping here because I really liked the book but I’ll throw in the (justifiable) paternal angst/trauma for shits and giggles. And man… as bad as Josh was, his dad took the asshole cake.
Katie: Except for maybe this guy right here…
Patty: Don’t ever Google images for Asshole Cake, btw. I need to bleach my eyes now.
Patty: We suck at these reviews unless we hate the book. We enjoy making fun of bad books. We are terrible people.
Katie: You’re not wrong.
Katie: IF you like kissing books, read this one. READ IT.