's Review No: 2

Spoiler alert, Beth dies (better put the book in the freezer)

Rating:

I have a confession to make. I never read Little Women as a child. I KNOW. For someone who eventually latched onto Jo as, like, main role model number one (tied with, I don’t know, Elizabeth Bennet and Hermione Granger, probably), this is just unacceptable.

I finally read it in high school, which I suppose means I actually DID read it as a child, but teenhood feels so much different than childhood, yeah? Plus, the only reason I read it, I’m fairly certain, is because of this (and maybe also this):

 photo laurie_zps9ffdc011.gif

Gosling-esque

Christian Bale, siiiiiiiiiiiigh. This was after he sang about Santa Fe and danced in Nazi Germany, but before he started axe-murdering and growling at people, and YOU GUYS was I ever in love. Laaaaaaaaurie. Sweet Laaaaaaaaaaaaurie.

Li’l Wimmin, the comic adaptation of Little Women, by Grady Hendrix and Ryan Dunlavey, gets Laurie’s character a hell of a lot better than I did as a lovesick teen. Because he’s kind of creepy, yeah? With his obsession with marrying one of the March sisters?

boy next door

…yikes.

You all know the story of Little Women, right? There are four sisters, Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy (ugh). Their father is off at war, and their mother is forced to do what she can to take care of them (not prostitution). They’re pretty poor and things are grim a lot of the time but the point is THEY ARE GOOD AND LOVE EACH OTHER. They even love Amy somehow.

Laurie comes to live with his grandad next door and Jo basically makes him her pet. You totally want them to fall in love (especially in the movie where Winona Ryder and Christian Bale spend the entire time making googly eyes at one another) but Jo ends up with some old German professor guy, who I GUESS is OK but I prefer the ending my friend Heather Anne made up, where Jo dumps the professor and marries Laurie and Amy gets eaten by a bear.

One of the things Li’l Wimmin gets so very right is the depiction of Amy, who is the capital W WORST (and not in a fun Britta way), all nose job worries and freakin’ limes and…I’m sorry, I know she’s not REALLY that bad, but she burns Jo’s manuscript and so I will never forgive her. Like, don’t throw anyone’s shit in a fire, OK? How is that difficult?

(Remember in Ever After when Angelica Huston burns up Drew Barrymore’s copy of Utopia, the only physical thing she has left of her father? No? Just me? WELL IT BURNS ME UP INSIDE JUST LIKE HOW JO’S MANUSCRIPT WAS BURNED UP BECAUSE OF STUPID AMY.)

This review is going way off the rails. Too much writing juice*!

(*wine)

Anyway. My husband got me this book for Christmas because A) Little Women is awesome and B) one time we met Ryan Dunlavey at TCAF and got some of his books and liked them. GOOD STORY, JENNIE.

I’d never read anything by Grady Hendrix before now but now that I have, I’ll definitely read some more of his stuff. DEFINITELY, I SAID. I’ve already added some to my To Read list, which means my To Read list is now approximately 100 bagoddamnjillion books long and I’m alternately excited and depressed about that. You guys get that, right? Like, there’s no way I’ll ever, ever, in a hundred million years be able to read all the books I want to read. There are just too many. Even if I quit my job and stopped sleeping and showering (CHALLENGE ACCEPTED), I’d never have time to read them all. Doesn’t that just depress the everloving shit out of you? UGH WORLD WHY ARE YOU SO HORRIBLE SOMETIMES JUST LET ME READ FOREVER AND EVER THAT’S ALL I WANT OUT OF LIFE.

Anyway, if you ever feel these feelings, too, especially after drinking too much writing juice, I HAVE GOOD NEWS. Li’l Wimmin is pretty short, so you can read it really quickly (even with plenty of time to look at the adorable drawrings) and move on to the next book of your never-ending To Read list, which should help you ignore the fact that you’re going to die someday.

8 comments to Spoiler alert, Beth dies (better put the book in the freezer)

  • Bothari43

    Yes, we get you! Tooooo many books. You need a multi-leg flight and a couple layovers that are a bagoddamnjillion (new favorite word) hours long. You’ll go from ‘happily content and sated’ to ‘jumpin jesus on a pogo stick my eyes cannot digest any more words’ before you reach your destination.

  • Your alternate ending for the book is strangely similar to mine. I think in my version, Amy died of some sort of wasting disease, but the end result was very similar.

    Wonderful review. So many LOLs. Also, I still cringe thinking about that scene in Ever After. How could evil step-mom burn her precious book? More horrible than all the other things she did to the poor girl put together!

    Based on this review, there is a tiny chance that we are kindred spirits. I feel like you are the Diana Barry to my Anne Shirley (except I was always the Diana in that equation, what with the chubby and dreamy and stuff). My TBR list is also too long. I also have pesky things like employment and sleep and my husband or friends occasionally wanting to spend time with me, or TV that I want to watch getting in the way of my sweet sweet reading time. I’m pretty sure I need a small army of Orphan Black style clones to get all the stuff I want done. Except housework. That’s always going to get prioritized way the heck down because BORING.

    • baxlala

      I think that’s what the Alison clone is for…housework, specifically. Hee.

      That Ever After scene, man…I don’t know. I feel like I think about that entire movie more than is warranted.

  • narfna

    GOD JENNIE I DIDN’T KNOW BETH DIED I’M SO MAD AT YOU HOW DARE YOU SPOIL A HUNDRED YEAR PLUS OLD BOOK. I’M SO UPSET RIGHT NOW.

    Just kidding I read this book a million times as a kid and then again a couple years ago for my exams.

    • baxlala

      Hahahaha, you know, I actually thought about not spoiling but everyone knows Beth dies, right? And anyway, I think it’s better to be prepared for that because of all the sads.

  • faskenette

    I loved this review. MORE WRITING JUICE! MORE REVIEWS!
    I’ve never read Little Women OR Li’l Wimmin, despite an English Lit background (I’m Canadian- my forced march was through the frozen tundra of Canadian Lit). I seriously love your review though – I’m picking up the comic version of L’il Wimmin. And possibly rewatching the Christian Bale movie version. (Who am I kidding? I am DEFINITELY rewatching the Christian Bale movie version.)

    • baxlala

      YES watch the Christian Bale movie and then watch it AGAIN. I feel like if you watch that enough, you really don’t need to read the book.

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